Old Sham Sandwich BLT

7 Days to Die has taken over my life. Completely. When the Cooking With Heat crew brainstormed over what to make on Monday, the first recommendation was Old Sham Sandwich. Straight up, moldy bread, old spam, realistic as possible. I had to be talked out of making *actual* garbage for my cooking show... In favor of bacon, obviously. All the components were homemade, for bonus points.

"Moldy" Sandwich Bread

No Old Sham Sandwich is complete without GREEN BREAD! You can use any color you like, or no color at all. I won't be offended if you don't go buy green food coloring to make bread, of all things.

Ingredients

2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast
3 tablespoons white sugar
2 1/2 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
1 tablespoon lard at room temperature
1 tablespoon salt
6 1/2 cups bread flour
Green food coloring
6 large basil leaves
1 tablespoon minced dried onions
1 teaspoon poppy seeds or chia seeds (or both)
1 teaspoon Maldon salt
1 teaspoon of herbs and spices of your choice (we used berbere, we always use berbere)

Directions

In a small bowl, dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water. Let rest for 10 minutes, or until the mixture smells like bread.
Roll up basil leaves into a tight wad and slice thinly. You want slivers of basil, or even a mince.
On a large flat countertop, form all 6 1/2 cups of flour into a pile and hollow out the middle to make a volcano shape.
Once yeast has bloomed (created bubbles) add 20 drops of green food coloring. Stir in lard and salt.
Pour the water mixture into the middle of the volcano, 1/2 cup at a time. Use your fingers to mix the water into the flour, adding more water when the mixed area starts to congeal. You'll eventually have a broken volcano and can start pulling in more flour from the outer edges. This creates a huge mess, but you're guaranteed to only get as much flour as you need inside the loaf.
When the dough has pulled together, sprinkle in your minced basil leaves and turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes.
Place the dough in a bowl and turn to fully coat with oil. Cover with a lid or a damp cloth and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 1 hour.
Deflate the dough by pressing it down and turn it out again onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough into two equal pieces and form into loaves. Place the loaves into two lightly greased 9x5 inch loaf pans. Cover the loaves with a lid or a damp cloth and let rise until doubled in volume, about 40 minutes.
Preheat oven to 425ºF.
Sprinkle the minced dried onions, poppy or chia seeds, Maldon salt and herbs and spices over the top of the loaves evenly.
Place the loaves into the oven and reduce the heat to 375ºF for about 30 minutes or until the top is slightly brown and the bottom of the loaf sounds hollow when tapped.

Bacon

The following method is the absolute BEST way of cooking bacon, hands down. Once you do it, you'll see why! Go to your butcher or grocery store and grab a 1lb pack of cured bacon.

Directions

Find your largest pan or cookie sheet and line with foil.
Lay out the cold bacon slices on the pan so that pieces are all parallel and just barely touching each other.
Place your bacon pan into a COLD oven, and set it to 400ºF. The slow preheat cook is very important!
Bake for 20 minutes, checking every minute at around 16 minutes for burning bits and ends.
After 20 minutes, remove from oven and serve.
(optional) For thicker cut bacon strips, let the bacon sit in their own grease for 5 minutes before plating. This grease soak will help otherwise chewy bacon be easier broken apart, which is important in sandwiches.

Homemade Mayo

While we didn't *quite* have the tools to make homemade mayo like Serious Eats would suggest, we managed to pull together a tasty treat for our green BLT sammiches

Ingredients

1 whole egg
1 tablespoon lemon juice (from 1/2 a lemon)
1 teaspoon spicy mustard
3 medium cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup olive oil
Kosher salt
Pepper

Directions

Place egg, lemon juice, and mustard in the bottom of cup or jar that just fits the head of your immersion blender. This is vital. the circumference of the jar must be just larger than the head of your blender and the egg/lemon juice mixture must reach the blades for this to work. If the mixture does not reach the blades, double the recipe before attempting.
Add garlic and pepper. Pour oil on top and allow to settle for 15 seconds. Place head of immersion blender at bottom of cup and turn it on high speed. Do not pulse or move the head. As mayonnaise forms, slowly tilt and lift the head of the immersion blender until all oil is emulsified. Season mayonnaise to taste with salt. Store in a sealed container in the refrigerator for up to two weeks.